Warning: substr() expects parameter 1 to be string, array given in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 1519

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): No such file or directory in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2746

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): A link to the server could not be established in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2746

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): No such file or directory in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2748

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): A link to the server could not be established in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2748

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): No such file or directory in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2746

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): A link to the server could not be established in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2746

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): No such file or directory in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2748

Warning: mysql_real_escape_string(): A link to the server could not be established in /homepages/9/d211901201/htdocs/wp-content/plugins/wordbooker/wordbooker.php on line 2748

Aspirations of Patience

Share

I know you want Hawaii pictures.  But believe it or not, it’s easier and faster to spit out written posts than to choose, edit, resize, upload, arrange, and caption picture posts.  I am working on it.  Promise.

————————————————————

When I woke up this morning, I was in a good mood.  I went for a run.  I had a smoothie.  It was 7:30 a.m. and it was a good day.

I came home and didn’t get a shower before Josh left, but that was okay.  I managed a bath even after all three children were awake.  Hardly any damage.  Levi may have fallen in the tub, but he survived.

I got dressed and gave the kids breakfast.  Headed to my computer to check some things before starting the busyness of the day.  Saw the missing Enter key. Got a little upset, but mostly at myself for leaving the laptop open with Levi awake.  Saw the broken plastic and realized it wasn’t fixable.  Got more upset.

Looked into the kitchen and saw Levi dropping Cheerio after Cheerio into the dogs waiting mouth.  This, after weeks of spanking that little hand for that very offense.  (And it definitely wasn’t the first time this morning he had been reprimanded for it, either.)  Got more upset.

Glanced at Olivia and saw her leaning away from her bowl, holding her dripping spoon in mid-air, collecting milk in her lap.  Another lesson that seems impossible to teach.  Got really upset.

And just like that, it’s a bad day. At 9:00 a.m.

Cleaned up Levi and put him in his crib.  Told Olivia she was done eating and made her get down.  Spent the next 15 minutes cleaning the kitchen with an unrighteous furor.  Internally yelling at anyone who had spilled anything or tracked anything into that room.

Then came the guilt.  How could I have let such minuscule offenses affect me so greatly?  Spilt milk?  Really?  A nine-month old feeding the dog?  That wasn’t even a mess to clean up!

Half of me wants you to tell me it’s okay.  You do it too.  I’m not a bad mommy.

But the other half, the half that aspires to have children that rise up and call me blessed wants to be held accountable.

I’m not reading my bible.  I’m not spending time in His Word or His Presence.  I’m not filled with His Spirit.  I’m not bearing Fruit.  And it shows.

Love.  Joy.  Peace.  PATIENCE. Kindness.  Goodness. Faithfulness.  Gentleness.  Self-control.

Sigh.

I don’t know what I want this post to be.  I just knew I wanted to write it.  Let you know.  I’m crawling back to God.  Again.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Share