I had pretty much decided how this birth would go. Josh was against homebirth since we’re about half an hour from the hospital. I didn’t really want to drive over an hour to a birthing center or hospital that would allow me to use a midwife. So I was going to have the New Baby in the local hospital, with a doctor and a doula and a Bradley-trained husband. I would labor at home as long as possible, like last time, and show up only to push out a baby.
But then something, I don’t even remember what, got me thinking again about those nice birthing options an hour away. I started browsing their websites. And they looked so nice. And I got to thinking, it’s not so abnormal for a woman to drive an hour to get to the place where she delivers her baby. Where our in-laws live, the closest hospital is about an hour away.
To be able to labor and birth in a place conducive to my beliefs and preferences would be such a relief compared to the hospitals here. I had a conversation last night with some local ladies and they encouraged me to stand up for my rights in this doctor-centered hospital and flat out refuse treatment in some cases and make them do it my way in others. And I could. But do I want that stress while I’m in the worst pain of my life?
When I had Benjamin at the local hospital, I only labored there for an hour and I was forced up on that bed more times that I can remember to be checked so they could tell me when to start pushing. I was told the doctor (the on-call doctor since I apparently didn’t give my doctor enough time to get there) would not deliver my baby unless I was up on that bed. So much for the alternative birthing positions I had wanted to try. I knew that hospital had squatting bars to put on the beds and I repeatedly asked for one. I was never given one.
Sure, all in all, it was a healthy delivery with a healthy baby and a healthy mother. But it’s very stressful to take the time to plan out such a major event and then have your desires cast aside for someone else’s preferences. Would you accept that on your wedding day? “Oh, as long as you say ‘I do’, the rest doesn’t matter.” But the plans you made! The dreams you had! Don’t they count for anything?
So I’m considering the birthing centers again. Considering switching to a midwife. Yes, it would be over an hour’s drive. But if I started out early enough in labor, I’d still have the same amount of contractions in the car that I would have in the 30 minute drive to the local hospital.
To be fair, we visited the new hospital’s maternity center this weekend. We took the tour and asked our questions. It’s a very nice, new, clean, modern, convenient, beautiful facility. The laboring rooms are HUGE. The recovery rooms are private. They both have flat-screen televisions. They thought of such things as to have the garbage and linen bins accessible from the outside of the room so no one has to come in to take care of them.
But there are no tubs on the entire floor. There isn’t even a ledge in the shower to keep the water from going all over the bathroom floor (for wheelchair accessibility). So using a bath to reduce labor pains is out. And the c-secion rate is 30%. They had had several just that morning. That’s about one-in-three. And this is my third. Sure it’s the national average, but that’s still high!
The hospital an hour away has birthing tubs. Not to be confused with “laboring” tubs, where you have to climb out just as the pain is at its worst to get on a bed to deliver the baby. You can actually have the baby in the tub. They encourage natural births. They allow midwives, who stay with you the whole time, monitoring your situation and aiding you in whatever ways they can.
So I guess the next step is to tour that facility. Interview midwives. I’ll let you know how that goes, when that happens.
I had to drive almost an hour just to see my OB with my first pregnancy. Now though, I live closer to the big city and actually have a birthing center as an option.
I wouldn’t think anything of driving that far for a birthing center now that I know the difference between a hospital and a birthing center delivery.
An hour in the car in my world used to be the norm to get anything done! Good luck!
I just got done reading a friend’s blog about her 3 births. She did not have the birth she wanted for # 1 (a c section). For number 2 she tried to have it at home but after waiting 3 days after the water broke, she went in, resigned to another c section. However, the male anethesiologist encouraged her to do it naturally and she ended up having it that way, even though she had to fight her female doctor to do it! She is currently in mid-wife training and had her last baby this past weekend – at home in a birthing tub. An extra half hour shouldn’t be an impediment to having the kind of birth you want. Birth has gone from a natural process to a ‘medical procedure’ and if you want it to be a natural process, fight for it
Good luck with your decision! If you’re already 30 mins from the hospital in your city, what’s another 30-45 mins on the road to a birth center?
With your last two, did you have fast deliveries? They say that with your 3rd, it’s totally unpredictable and might not be like your first two deliveries, but if you had superfast labors, traveling far might not be as good of an idea.
What do you plan to do with Olivia and Benjamin?
Kacie – I was induced with Olivia and went natural with Benjamin, so it’s hard to compare the lengths of time. Also, I’ve been extraordinarily blessed with both labors, that I was dilated before even feeling contractions.
With Olivia, I was 5cm at my last prenatal appt (the week before her due date), at which they told me just to come in the next day and they’ll finish it for me. I hadn’t felt a single contraction and was scared how fast the labor would go. And Josh had our only car when he went to work 30-45 min away. So I went in for induction at 6am, had Olivia at 5:30ish. Didn’t feel a contraction til they broke my water at 1 (and asked for an epidural at 3! Pitocin contractions = OUCH.)
With Benjamin, I was (trying to remember here…) probably 2-3 cm at my last prenatal appt (a week after his due date). I felt braxton hicks for at least a couple weeks before they turned into real ones. They were about 18 minutes apart the day before he was born, stopped for a good 8 hours so I could sleep (I know! I loved it!), started up the next morning again. I didn’t call Josh home from school until after I put Olivia down for her nap at 1pm, and we didn’t leave for the hospital until about 4:30. The contractions still weren’t five minutes apart (more like 7), but the pain level made me think we were getting close. When I got there, they told me I was at 9.5 cm and he was born an hour later!
So if it goes like Benjamin’s labor, I’ll head down when the contractions are about 15 minutes apart and still have about half a day before the baby comes.
And, luckily, we have awesome friends in the same city where the birth center is who are willing to drop everything to watch our kids for us when the time comes. Which I love, because then our kids will be close.
I just delivered my first baby 5 weeks ago at a birth center in Muncie. Did I mention he was 9 lbs 4.5 oz, persistently posterior, and that I pushed for longer than 2 hours? Yeah, any of those things would have meant a c-section for me in a hospital setting. All three of them combined…more than certain.
In other words, I am SO GLAD we chose an out-of-hospital birth.
I cannot speak highly enough of the midwives there. And we live 30 minutes away from the birth center. The car ride with contractions wasn’t that fun, but again, it beats a c-section and a short car ride.
I would gladly email you more information if you want it. I couldn’t find a way to email you on your blog.
Blessings to you,
Alissa
I know just how you feel! We took the hospital tour after the birthing center tour, and were told we could “negotiate” for our choices … the last thing I wanted to worry about!
I wish you all the best, and am praying that things go well.
If you go with the birthing center, are you still going to bring along that Bradley-trained husband? : )
hi, for both my kids, i lived 45 mins from hospital,and my obgyn
my second, we drove into town, went to in laws, dropped off dd and i made her chicken noodle soup (instant) before going to hospital…
my first labour was 6 hours, we decided to spend that weekend in the town where the hospital and in laws were….so on my due date i went into labour..
my second..i went in, becase i “thought” i broke my water…i went in at noon, at 130 i had my son…
so for now..i would want to be closer than an hour…we’ve moved…so that hospital is not an option..i’d like a home birth if even i’m pregnant again..but dont think id risk it (MY choice…my labours are fast and hard..i go 0cm to 10 cm in about 7 mins…)
i would suggest calling the birth centre , and visit them..they’ll tell you if they have clents from your area….they’ll let you know…
either way may god bless this birth wherever you choose to deliver..
Becky – I would! 🙂 But, if I end up getting a midwife, I probably will not get a doula. I figure a Bradley trained husband and a midwive should cover all my bases, right?
I don’t know. I’m planing to birth with a midwife and still planing to get a doula. A midwife needs breaks too. She has to be her freshest for the actuall birth. But it is also my first, so I think we need another person to help us through incase it drags on. I want my husband for emotional support, but he needs support too. But, I have a friend who was very happy with their Bradly trained husband and didn’t want to listen to anyone else. Good luck in finding the right place/people for you and your birth.
Yay! Good for you. I’d definitely go for the hour away situation if I were you. That being said, labor is unpredictable and things can change. You can read my story on my blog. It was not fun to switch from the natural home birth I dreamed of to a full of interventions hospital birth, but I am thankful that we had that option when we needed it. I hope you can go to that other hospital though. It sounds heavenly and like the best of both worlds.
The nearest birth center to me is 5 hours away. Think that’s too far? Or do I just need to head to Savannah when I hit 38 weeks? 🙂
You know what you want and can get it. Go for it. With my Ben I delivered at a hospital that was more like a center. Including a low average of C sections. The nurses did get on my nerves and got the sharp end of my tongue but overall, a birthing center is a wonderful thing and if your ok with the distance, happy trails.
Oh, I would totally go for the birthing center! I delivered my first baby in a hospital, thought I knew what I was getting into, thought I could stand up for my rights and buck medical protocol…not quite. Second time around, we drove one hour to a birthing center, the only one in the state which offers water births, and actually gave birth in the tub (wasn’t planning on that). SOOO much worth the drive! I agree with the others who say as long as you’re in the car for 30 minutes, what’s another half hour? It makes all the difference in the world to have a supportive birth environment. Of course you need to do what’s right for you, but I hope you can make it work to go with the birthing center.
I’d definitely do the hour drive for what you want! Instead of going to a clinic here in Jarabacoa (where I’d have a 100% chance of a c-section and the bathrooms don’t even have soap), we’re driving to Santiago again to a nice, new, clean, quiet hospital where I at least have a small chance of having a natural birth this time. I really hope the doctor is willing to do it!
The birth center does sound like the best option–despite the drive (unless you would worry at all about not making it.) I am a few weeks away from my first homebirth (2 previous hospital births) and even though I’m a little anxious that my midwives live 1.5 hours away AND I’ve had pretty quick labors so far, I’m just so far from being able to put myself in the hospital setting if it’s not necessary. (Especially since the big hospital here has a 65% c-section rate!!)
Good luck with your decision though. I also understand not wanting to spend an hour in the car while you’re in labor! Here’s to hoping someday we have more and better birth options in this country!
I am glad you are taking steps to learn more about the facility you want to give birth in. It is important that you feel safe and comfortable in the facility of your choice. After all, they will be taking care of you and your baby. Keep us posted!
i thought you might find this article interesting considering this post. even though it doesn’t directly apply to your situation 🙂 http://tinyurl.com/brggtv
You will probably be satisfied with your husband and midwife, if you feel like Josh is able to give you the support you need. If he is unwilling or unable, you will be happier with a doula.
I would go with the birthing center, especially if you feel you didn’t have a respectful experiance at the hospital with your 2nd birth.
By the way, do you ever read Rixa’s blog “Stand and Deliver”? http://rixarixa.blogspot.com/ She went to her local hospital (she is 31 weeks along) and then discussed some great points in a post a few days ago.
I had my 1st 3 in hospitals (the 3rd under threat of c-section which stressed me out) before we had the 4th at home. It was “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” that made me realize that my body is made to do this and that I won’t get what I need (no matter how much I ask/fight) at a hospital. I was also VERY scared of the extremely high c-section rates – 30% in hospital vs. 5% at home. I highly recommended checking out that book as well as the awesome movie by Ricki Lake, “The Business of Being Born”!
You CAN have the birth that you want! I did and I will NEVER forget it – it was wonderful, peaceful, and amazing!
BTW – both my 3rd and 4th were 11 pounders! The 4th arrived at home in 3 1/2 hours and was the only one with NO tearing….
dona jimena i will know, many thanks for the information