I’ve recently pounded out my co-sleeping, cry-it-out beliefs to you. For you. With you? I said I fully believe in the benefits of co-sleeping with a newborn. However, when my babies reach approximately 12 months in age, I start desiring a bit more room in the bed. And a bit less feet in my face.
However cute those feet might be.
Plus, while some babies sleep through the night at 6 weeks, mine don’t achieve that miraculous milestone until they gain their own nighttime independence. Because they simply do not see the sense in resting inches from an all-night diner and not partaking in the occasional cup of coffee, slice of pie, or perhaps a hamburger. Or two.
And by “occasional,” I mean every two hours.
So I’d like at least a little nighttime peace with maybe a couple 8 hour stretches here and there before the next baby comes along.
That being said…
Some things we’ve checked off our list o’ things to do to get Benjamin crib-ready:
- We have set up the pack and play in Olivia’s room, which we hope to soon be calling The Kid Room. We have already explained to Olivia that she will be “sharing” her room with her baby brother. Won’t that be fun?!
- I have started to include Benjamin in the naptime routine, which is this:
- Start the Sleepy Music
- Read two books (while nursing a Benjamin)
- Collect sippies, small toys, and books galore for each bed
- Place appropriate child in appropriate goody-filled bed
- I then leave Benjamin in his pack and play. As opposed to my previous statement that five minutes was the maximum cry-it-out time I could bear my child to endure, in this situation, I allot fifteen. My rationale being: He has his sister in there; he is not alone. In fact, she sits on the edge of her bed and entertains him with such enjoyable shows as book-reading, play-acting with doll-people, and general babbling that I’m sure he understands. He still cries. But it’s [for the most part] more of an angry/annoyed cry than anything else.
- And I always leave the oh-my-goodness-I-think-he’s-dying loophole.
- But today! He sat in that pack and play for a good ten minutes watching his sister animatedly reading books to him. And then he cried until I went in to get him. But this is progress!
- This is completely obnoxious misuse of bullet points.
- But you love me anyway.
- And the most successful part of our plan thus-far (and I am using the word “thus” entirely too much): We have night-weaned.
Now to write more about the nigh-weaning in non-bulleted format.
It seems to me, as mentioned before, that my children do not choose to sleep through the night until the all-nite-diner closes. And getting a baby/toddler (I’m just not ready to call my baby boy a toddler) to sleep in their own bed seems to be largely dependent upon getting them to sleep for long stretches of time, if not the whole night. I don’t mind if Benjamin joins us in bed at 5 or 6 in the morning. But two hours after I put him in his crib?
So we night-weaned.
This involved a lot of crying, holding, hugging, and patting. And not much sleep. So be sure to do it on a Friday night. The best part of this method is that while Benjamin did cry (and did I mention? he did cry) he was at no point hysterical. Leaving him in his crib alone for long stretches so that he could “soothe” himself to sleep would have resulted in hysterical, blood-pressure-raising, hyperventilating cries. The co-sleeping/night-weaning method produced an annoyed, tired, confused, angry cry that was on-again-off-again all night. The attached mommy in me was very much at peace with this method.
The next night, instead of waking up two hours after I put him down, he slept three! whole! hours! But I didn’t get my hopes up. When he did wake up, he refused to be put back in the crib, so he ended up in our bed again, rooting and crying the same annoyed, tired, confused, angry cry. And then! I had a poster-child API moment: I realized he was thirsty. The pride of every attached parent’s day: When they can decipher the Thirsty Cry. So we got him a sippy of luke-warm water and he fell asleep just about instantaneously.
The next night, he slept in his crib for FOUR! WHOLE! HOURS! When he did wake, we brought him to bed with us and did the sippy-thing again. He was fine with not nursing.
Though, be not confused, as soon he woke at a decent hour and I broached the nursing subject with him, he was thrilled as pie. Obviously not ready to day-wean. And I am fine with that.
So that was last night.
Wonder how long he will sleep tonight…
I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, what good is having more room in the bed if I’m not there to enjoy it?
Good night, Internet.
Wow! Great minds think alike. We are in just about the SAME boat. I feel ya!!! My son is a year old now and we are night weaning also. We tried to day wean but with no luck. The night weaning seems to be working out better. I should be sleeping in my bed it also!! It’s so nice to hear another mother’s side. We actually just started on Friday night…and each night he’s seems to be going an hour or so longer before he wakes up and wants to nurse. So far, he’s been putting himself back to sleep and did so for our nap yesterday and today!!! I’m so thrilled but at the same time…keep thinking I’m going to miss our evening down time with him cuddled in my arms suckling at the breast! Slowly but surely, he’ll grow out of it and I know I’m going to want it back!!! I’m not ready to call my baby a toddler either…I guess they’ll always be our babies!!! Check out my site if you get the chance!
I found your blog when a friend mentioned it to me – and I love reading it!!
I’m totally impressed with your mommy-stamina. Co-sleeping wasn’t going to work for us (my hubby had issues with baby in our bed) – and I could only spend so many weeks sleeping on the bed in her room without feeling like a non-wife.
But, I do believe that there are lots of wonderful benefits to attachment parenting – and it’s so fun to read about your experiences!! Thanks for sharing – and good luck with nighttimes!!
Wow. Every two hours? I suppose if you’re co-sleeping you don’t really have to be that awake.
I must have been spoiled– my little boy slept six hour stretches at night (of his own volition) before six weeks.
Now that I’m pregnant again and he’s 17 months, he’s finally sleeping all through the night more often than not. Which is HEAVEN. I never thought I’d see my bed for so long at any given stretch.
Until, of course, I have to get up and go to the bathroom at 3 in the morning.
I guess we were just lucky with Lexi. She night weaned herself at 6 months and went to her crib in her room around that time. I think it was harder for me than for her. I missed the night snuggles.
Wonder what Baby bean will do. I guess baby bean will be able to nurse as long as it wants, unlike Lexi who had to wean by 10 months 🙁
Thank you so much for keeping us posted on this sleeping thing. I am just a few months behind, and I am so appreciating the help/advice/encouragement. Good job with your incredible patience and wisdom in figuring out the thirsty cry!
We stopped co-sleeping at about 5 months. We didn’t have any problems getting him in his own bed. It probably would have gone on longer if he would nurse while I was lying down. But no. That doesn’t suit his fancy. I have to be sitting up and he has to be in a cradle hold.
However the night nursing? Lord help me….he’s still not ready to stop that. He’s 11 months old and I work full time. I NEED SLEEP! And he doesn’t want it every 2 hours–maybe 3. Meanwhile I’m one of the walking dead.
becoming-mommy, I know my son’s pediatric urologist was shocked that at 4 months he wasn’t sleeping through the night. He said I just had to cut him off at night, and he’d sleep. Send Dad in with a bottle or a sippy.
“If my wife got up and made me cookies and milk whenever I woke up in the middle of the night, I’d never sleep 8 hours straight!”
Oh My Goodness. This is so true. Mine is almost 11 months and he is still in bed with us and eats all night. I work full time so its really tiring to not get sleep and have to wake up so early on 3 hours a night of sleep. The funny thing is that my hubby is the one that has the heartbreak of transitioning baby to his crib. He cant take his high pitched cries when we put him down to sleep so he ends up rocking him to sleep every night and placing him in our bed.
I guess i will be in your boat sooner than later, I’ll probably have to buy daddy a comfort blanky so he doesn’t freak out on me during our transition! 🙂