If all they had done was weigh him, measure him, listen to his heart and breathing, and sent us on our way with a clean bill of health, that would be one thing.

But no.

They asked the most ridiculous questions.

Like: How often does he nurse? How long on each side? How many wet diapers? How many messy ones?

Now, before any medical personnel goes and gets defensive, I know there must be a reason for this.

But they just don’t accept “It varies” as an answer!

So I spout off the answers that I’ve read in books and they’re happy. But next time, I’m going to say this:

“3-20 times a day, 2-60 minutes per side, too many to count, and I try to block those from my memory.”

And then I get the doctor’s philosophy on why my baby should sleep in a crib. He doesn’t quote SIDS stats to me (he knows better than that), he just tells me if I don’t want Benjamin sleeping with me when he’s five years old, then I’d better get him in a crib pronto.

But here’s my theory. Ready? I figure a baby’s going to cry when you make him sleep in his own crib. Whether he’s a day old, or 3 years old, he will cry. No, I don’t expect Benjamin to still be sleeping with us when he’s three. We most likely (I’ve learned not to give absolutes!) won’t have more than one child in bed with us at a time. So sometime inbetween now and the next child, he will learn to sleep on his own. And he won’t like it. But he will be more mature. He will be more understanding. It won’t be in-the-womb one minute, in-his-own-room the next. He’ll have had that extra time with me to build security and trust. So when I’m ready, when he’s ready, he’ll move to his crib.

So when the doctor recites his little speech, I just give a mild little smile and sing songs in my head to pass the time.