Yeah, I know. Preach it to me. Part One was almost two weeks ago. But in my defense, I hardly have reason to believe you’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting for the oh-so-exciting conclusion. And then I had a crazy weekend. And then my Internet broke.
Well, scoot yourself back into a more comfy position, ye Faithful Who Have Been Waiting For This. And feel free to just move on, Those Who Really Don’t Care.
So, Friday, September 14, was Olivia’s Last Day of Dursing.
After over two years, I finally felt at peace with her ability to communicate and glean love in other ways. I finally had enough faith in her communication skills to expect her to understand the concept of a Last Day of Dursing. I was finally ready to say good-bye to that part of our relationship. It really was a leap of faith. I was cutting back a major part of our relationship. The only way she had thus far communicated her Love for me. I was trusting God that He would provide a new form of Love to Blossom.
All day Thursday, I told her, “Tomorrow will be the last day for Dursing. Then it will just be for Baby Brother. You will be a Big Girl! You and Mommy will cuddle. We will cuddle on the rocking chair before you go to bed.”
And then on Friday, “Today is the Last Day, sweetheart. Tomorrow, you will be a Big Girl, and you will cuddle with Mommy. Only Baby will nurse.”
Then came Saturday. I didn’t say anything pertaining to Dursing (or the lack thereof) on Saturday morning. Maybe I should have. But I was afraid. I was afraid of resistance. Of tantrums. Of fighting. Of the possibility I was misinterpreting my intuition. Maybe it wasn’t time. Maybe I should wait. Pretend I hadn’t already told her that This Day was coming.
But that would undermine the whole “Last One” system that has worked so well for us.
I did, however, purposefully find several occasions to tell her what a Big Girl she was. “You get to stand on the chair and help Daddy make pancakes. What a Big Girl you are!” “You get to eat the pancakes. Such a Big Girl! Baby only gets cereal. Aww, too bad, Baby.” “You get to play with Crayons. What a Big girl! Make sure Baby doesn’t get any. He’s just a little baby, too small for Crayons.”
Naptime came. I drug my feet. But I realized the longer I waited the worse it would be. I’d rather wean a happy baby than a cranky, sleep-deprived one.
Too late.
She was definitely cranky. But I held firm. I told her it was naptime. I enjoyed the temporary pause in crankiness as her face lit up and she ran towards the rocker. As I scooped her up, I reminded her, “Yesterday was our Last One, remember? Today you are a Big Girl.”
And, oh. The Tears.
But they were not The Tears I was expecting. I expected Tears accompanied by forceful hands. Defiant attitude. Surprise. Injustice.
They were Mournful Tears.
She never fought me. Just sat in my lap and cried.
I gathered her in my arms and reassured her. I reminded her that she was a Big Girl now, and that Big Girls Cuddle.
And for the first time I can remember, she Cuddled with me. She wrapped her little arms around me and held on. She nestled her little head under my chin. She curved her small body around mine. She willingly Cuddled with her Mommy.
There were no Tears at bedtime. Just Cuddles.
There have been no Tears since.
And the Cuddles have only gotten better.
Oh that’s wonderful! I’m so glad that it went okay, and leaves you with warm fuzzy feelings about it.
Aww. How cute.
I feel so lucky that my 10 month old is cuddly now.
You are a wonderful mother, Beth! I love you!!
-GMOM
I know my time is coming soon..I dread and welcome it at the same time. …
I love this story! I am in the process of weaning my 2yod, but we are not quite to this point. It is so wonderful that you guys were so easily able to transition to cuddles! I am looking forward to that day. I think your story should be shared with more people. La Leche Leage has a magazine they publish called New Beginnings, and I know they would love this story, if you wanted to send it to them.
Also, I think this is my first time commenting on your site, which I somehow stumbled upon a while ago. I enjoy reading your posts and am encouraged by your mothering.
so sweet. i’m glad it went so well.
my dd is 3 and still nursing 1x/day. i’d be happy if she weaned, but i guess i’m not ready to suggest it just yet. someday it will happen (at least that’s what i keep telling myself).
hugs to you. 🙂
amy
Oh how sweet! You tandem Dursed! I did too, for 13 months, and I almost ended up nursing 3 simultaneously but the first 2 self-weaned while I was preg w/ my 3rd.
Awww…Beth~ I’m crying…good tears tho’ – honestly, this is exactly what I needed today! I really don’t have a problem with tandem nursing- I guess, I’ve been feeling a little pressured by family lately. I know I need to stick to my guns and continue to nurse my lil guy because he’s like Olivia- he enjoys nursing-especially for comfort. I’ve always had the idea in my head to nurse until 2 (after much research)…but I also didn’t think that I would be pregnant before than either. My hormones are raging and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. After I had tweeted that and went to a few sites about weaning – I had come to the conclusion that I didn’t want to abruptly stop and it just reconfirmed my thoughts about self-lead weaning. Your article further re-confirmed it for me and brought me tears of joy! What an awesome story. I long for the day that Tristan cuddles not just for mom’s breasts but for other reasons. Thanks, I truly appreciate the support and am going to continue this beautiful journey we’ve already started. I just have a feeling I’m going to plump up more this pregnancy than the last -as I EAT CONSTANTLY. 🙂 But, hey, I’ll probably never get that excuse again…so all & all I’ve learned- enjoy it while I can. THANKS AGAIN. : )
Cuddles are wonderful. We were not able to nurse much to my dismay but in exchange for that sadness G-d has granted us an expert cuddler from a very early age.