So the school year has started, and with it two bible studies and a MOPS group.
And I am learning that being a social mommy isn’t always the most frugal choice.
- MOPS costs $40 per semester with a $20 registration fee.
- Women’s bible study has a $5 per child per week childcare fee.
- Adult bible study has a $10 per family (every other week) childcare fee.
Ouch.
Of course, they all know I’m poor. And they all say they don’t want the money to prevent me from coming. Some one else can cover me.
So are my only options to pay cash or to have someone else pay cash for me?
This idea hit me today while washing dishes (the dish towel is laying beside my chair on the floor and my hands are still prune-ish). Why do our services and payments always have to center around a monetary exchange? Why can’t we exchange services for services? Baked goods for childcare? Crafty knick-knacks instead of cash?
Would it be completely unacceptable to suggest a trade of banana bread and chocolate chip cookies? Because while I am unable to manufacture actual currency during naptime (I hear that’s illegal these days), there are other things I could do for you to show my appreciation.
What do you think?
That sounds like a wonderful idea to me! I’d love that kind of trade, personally!
I was thinking the SAME THING today! I was thinking about how if/when we get a house we will have repairs and stuff to do, I was thinking how great it would be if we could exchanged on talent for another. Say you need a plumber, well why couldn’t you exchange your professional services for theirs? (of course in our case not too many people need my husband’s service of a draftsman, but I could trade baked goods.) Everyone needs to eat! of course food cost money too, so maybe that wouldn’t work.
One of the things I’ve always wanted to do was find another married couple who is poor like us and we could exchange babysitting for babysitting. Trade days or weeks, take turns watching each other’s kids. Free childcare is great. Maybe you could find someone who goes to a different Bible study on a different day and take turns watching each other’s children for free? I personally would talk to the church about where they are spending the money and see if they could pay for the childcare out of their own pockets. That just seems like the people watching the children are making way more money than they deserve if each child is paying $5. Our church hired college students and stay at home mom’s to watch the children during Woman’s Bible study, each worker was paid $20- which was paid for by the church. Our church also hired college aged students for the small groups who had children. It was nice to not have to worry about those added fees.
what if you volunteered to provide the snacks for the kids some or all of the weeks?
We just devised a plan in our small group to have all the members rotate taking care of the 5 kids during the meeting time, so no one has to hire a babysitter, and no one misses the study more than once every couple months or so.
If you & Josh ever want to go out, give me a call & I’ll babysit! Or even bring the kids here, & have a night in Indianapolis!
I think that is a great idea! They help you with a need and you repay them by meeting some need they have in a way you are able. It sounds like what I think the early church did. I think sometimes we see the passage at the end of Acts 2 as being a free-for-all of giving, though I can’t imagine a group of people honestly working in that way. I picture it more like what you have said.
The other things is, why do they even need payment? Is there no one who would volunteer time to be with kids? Is the reward of getting to play and imagine as a child again and take care of children not enough?
You’re thinking like my husband…who exchanges laying tile floors for Indy 500 tickets.
Sucks b/c at house church “bible study” you didn’t need child care right? Can you not go when Josh can watch the kids? Are there any other options for small group with kids involved?
IMHO, I would prob feel guilty about them paying the fees for me (although it would be only a fraction of the total cost since there are prob quite a few people in your group). I would see if a kid friendly bible study could be an option.
I know a dancer who sewed costumes for the dance school in order to give her son the lessons he wanted. I think the first step, always, is to ask.
Anyway, I get uncomfortable with a bunch of these child-care-provided things anyway. I usually don’t know who tis doing the providing.
I’ve never watch her dealing with a strong-willed child or changing a diaper, and none of the moms is watching her work.
If (heaven-forbid) “the worst” prove true about one of these providers I might have an insatiable guilt for the first time in my life, b/c I would have put my child in harm’s way to get some [fill-in-the-blank]. Statistically it’s more an if than a when, and I wouldn’t want to pretend “it couldn’t happen to me.”
I was able to find a study last spring that met in a youth group room and the kids were able to run and play together while we all did our thing.
It got really crazy by the end of semester,and the other moms were talking about finding “somebody” to watch the kids and keep them out of their hair for that time.
Gave me a really bad feeling as all my what-if scenarios jammed my imagination. And I’m not generally a fearful person, either.
It’s just that, every now and then, even people I know and trust do things with my kids (like certain movies) that make me sick at heart.
Are you familiar with Zechariah 9:8?
“But I will defend my house against marauding forces.
Never again will an oppressor overrun my people,
for now I am keeping watch.”
I’ve been feeling that about my home and children lately.
Don’t know if that really addresses your concerns, but I hope it’s worth bringing into consideration
Wouldn’t you know I got the most serious part of my “downer” comment backward. The line was supposed to be, “when, not if.”
You could correct it and delete this if you like clean comments… 😉
The church I used to attend had a babysitting service and it was all done by volunteers. I think that’s a much better service for the church to offer and there are always people willing to volunteer.
I think the key here is to offer to exchange needed goods/service for needed service (childcare). Money is desired for payment, because people can use it, because the program can use it. As a former MOPS coordinator, I can say that we used every cent that we pulled in (that didn’t go to pay MOPS Int.) to pay for the stuff used for childcare – wipes, laundry soap for the linens in the nursery, anti-bac wipes for the toys, snacks, crayons, craft supplies, and SO many more things. So perhaps there are things that you can do or ways that you can serve that would be helpful to the program – someone mentioned bringing snacks; you could ask your Bible Study or MOPS group what would be helpful for them.
Blessings!
I would feel guilty having someone else pay for me, but I would also not have the money to pay the fee. We are fortunate to have my husband’s parents nearby so they can provide childcare pretty often if we need it, but we don’t like to abuse the privilege. More often, I just forego attending things that require paid childcare.
I also agree with the previous commenter who wonders what goes on when there are group childcare situations.
It would be awesome if we lived in a more barter-oriented economy. For a lot of things beyond childcare too.
I live in on-campus married housing, and since we’re all poor we do stuff for free.
That’s all there is to it.
I’ve organized a monthly book club (using books available in sets of 15 from the local library for free).
A friend organized a weekly Friday afternoon potluck at a playground.
Honestly, I’d go without paying and probably find or start a playgroup that’s free. Bible Study can be wonderful, but so can reading your Bible at naptime, or in the evenings. Discussing things with your husband.
But, as someone said, the first step is always to ask, if these are important to you.
Thank you all for your suggestions and advice!
I was going to write a comment about how things are turning out, but decided to make it a post instead. 😛
That seems like quite a lot of money to pay for childcare. I don’t pay one cent for childcare, and we could afford it. It’s just that I believe paid childcare is an exceptional luxury and I can usually find a trusted friend to swap with or something. I do not mean this to sound nasty, but in your situation with your budget being as tight as you’ve written that it is, this sounds like something you should definetly do without for now. I would continue to search for someone to swap with, or follow up on your idea of goods you make in exchange. But to be honest, as a former nanny, banana bread (though lovely) would never have been an equal trade for taking care of someone’s children. Children, esp. young ones, are very demanding and require infinite patience. A fairer trade in my opinion would be something like cleaning their house.
Good luck